Why does recycling make me feel so guilty?

You really have to wonder about yourself when you try harder than ever to do the right thing, and you still feel guilty. And I'm not even Catholic.

Now that I'm becoming a more "green" person, I find that I feel really guilty when I can't (or don't recycle). This was more true than ever when we were in the throws of getting everything out of our house before the move. All that STUFF! There was so much. We did our best to recycle by going to the recycling station often and making multiple runs to Goodwill, instead of just throwing things away. We probably did a really, really good job, but you know what? It wasn't good enough. For me, that is.

This is the danger in committing to "do the right thing." You feel just awful when you don't do it. I've always had a hard time compromising. I think it's my upbringing. My parents taught me that there's no such thing as a white lie (lying is lying), cheating on your taxes is unacceptable, copyright laws were made to be obeyed, and there is never an excuse not to do the right thing when you knew what it was.

Now I've added recycling to the list. I am hyper-aware of how bad it is to not recycle and therefore feel compelled to do it. In the last days and hours of our move, I will confess, I broke the rules. We got to the point where we'd recycled, sold and given away everything we could and we still had more stuff. The way the schedule worked out - between getting the truck loaded, meeting the movers and getting everything in the new place, I got stuck with making the last run to the glorious Groton town dump.

Ryan had planned to do because he knew that most of what was in the car would have to be thrown away - not recycled. Let's just say as much as he is committed to right-doing, his conscience is not near as sensitive as mine. He wasn't going to think twice about throwing all that stuff away. But for me, it was painful. I really felt like I was doing something irresponsible.

When we got to the apartment, we still had lots of stuff to get rid of, including all the boxes we used to move. Our building in Lowell is not set up yet for recycling, but there is a huge bin just outside the building that we are meant to throw trash in for now. It has a big recycling logo on and it's actually green (the color) but I don't trust it. Do they really seperate all our junk and send it to the right place? I try not to think about it.

This weekend Ryan made a run to the Groton to drop off some of our recycling (we have a dump sticker through next June), but that's not always going to work. I'm counting our our management company to get recycling going soon.

As soon as they do, it's going to take a load off of my chest. I can start really recycling again. I can let go of the guilt. But wait, will they actually do what they say they will with our recycling? If heard that there's a lot of controversy around this. Some towns have people seperate it all just to throw it all back together again. What?!

I can't go there. It's out of my hands at that point, right?

My conclusion is that some people feel guilty even when they are doing their best to do the right thing. I named my blog "shooting" for simple because I knew that I would need to remind myself that shooting for something means that you don't always hit it. And that's okay. Really? Yes, really (the battle continues).

I have been trying my husband's mindset a little more lately. Trying to be a little more relaxed about the whole thing. You can't get it right every time. No one is perfect, right? But it's the desire for perfection that keeps us on our toes - striving to do the right thing when we know what it is.

Simplifying can be complicated

As much as the goal with this whole downsizing thing was to make our lives more simple, it hasn't happened yet. The business of closing on the house and moving (as I wrote in my last post) was highly complicated and stressful. But I have moved on (in case you were wondering). Really, I have. : )

Now the focus is getting our new place in order. We are in a much smaller space now. We went from three bedrooms, a family room and an additional office to two bedrooms. Ryan and I are, of course, sharing the master bedroom (even after the move we still like each other) and we are sharing the other room as well. We are NOT calling it an office. There are two names we are using to describe this room. One is "the creativity room", CR for short and the other, which I think might be my favorite, is "the playroom."

How many couples do you know who don't have children but still have a playroom. Exactly! THAT is the very reason I like the name the playroom. Why is it when we grow up we don't have playrooms any more? We exchange a playroom for an office. No fun! The idea is this room is a place for inspiration, fun, and creativity.

In order to make this special space all that it needs to be (we have high expectations) we made the drive to Ikea on Saturday. We had never been. What an experience. I think we spent just under six hours there. We even had an idea of what we were looking for before we went.

We started with an incredibly hearty and inexpensive meal of meatballs, mashed potatoes, chicken, mac and cheese, apple cake and sparkling cider (see photo that does not include the chocolate bar). We needed our strength. Upon filling our bellies beyond their capacities, we began our journey through the countless displays in the vast showroom. Hours later, when we were finally done wandering through, debating (the good kind) which table was the perfect one for our creativity/play room, trying every chair in the joint, scrutinizing what piece of furniture we wanted to put the TV on and on and on, we headed down to the warehouse to find the pieces we chose.

As we located the flat boxes of items we would later assemble, we found that our eyes were a little bigger than the back of our Toyota Matrix. It became clear that two trips would be required (Ryan is heading back tomorrow). Getting our purchases in the car and the back tied down was its own ordeal. Thank goodness for the $1 frozen yogurt treat we helped ourselves to at the end as a reward for all our hard work. Food is a such a great reward.

Upon our arrival in Lowell we made numerous trips from the car to the elevator and down the very long hallway that leads to our apartment. It was reminiscent our of 3:00 a.m. load-in the week before when we made about 100 trips, but this time we had about 90% less stuff. Thank goodness.

We spent all of today assembling shelves and chairs. The place is starting to come together but we have a ways to go before it's a peaceful place to live. Boxes still line the walls and my clothes are in bins (no room for dressers here - working on an alternative solution). But it is starting to show great promise. It's going to be an amazing space to live and play in when we are done.

Little by little. That's what I keep telling myself. It is coming together, and when it does it will be the perfect home base for doing more to achieve the simple life that we are shooting for.

Selling your house + moving = Total exhaustion

I don't have internet access at home right now so I'm not able to blog as much as I would like to about all that has transpired over the past week. Right now I'm sitting in the dark at my work office (which is a five-minute walk from my house). I came back here after to dinner because I had to get online to complete a transaction. I figured that I was here, so I really should write a quick blog post. So here goes!

This post is not going to be a masterpiece. I will be lucky if I make complete sentences (please pardon my errors). That is really what this blog is about. I am completely and utterly exhausted. The events of the past four days have left me in this state. And the glass of wine I had with dinner isn't helping. I have no doubt that I will recover, but there is a good chance it's not going to be this week.

It sounds like I'm complaining. I might be. I don't mean to be, but the reality of the last few days is that closing on a house can be a very stressful situation as can moving. I really had no idea. And it's the culmination of weeks, months even, of stress leading up to selling the house. Just because you come to an agreement on price, doesen't mean that things will be smooth sailing. You really don't know if the sale is going to go through until a week before close. Crazy!

On Friday, I was waiting to hear from my lawyer about the amount that I needed to bring to closing. Yes, unfortunately we had to pay to sell our house. When I did get the number, I will be honest here, I freaked. We didn't have it. I did not anticipate that I would have to have so much at closing. I'd run the numbers and come up with a very different amount. And even what I did have was not available. The transfer of funds I made from my IRA to my checking had not come through.

Thank goodness for dear old mom and dad. They really came through for me.

In a panic, I called them to see if there was any way they could transfer a large sum of money to my bank account to cover me for the bank check I need until my money came through. The could and they would. Even my sister pitched in. Thank goodness.

But there were other complications in the process - like when it seemed for a while that even with the fams money we wouldn't have enought at closing. All this while people were coming to pick up our washer and dryer and I'm thinking we if we can't close, we won't have any way to wash our clothes.

Other activities of the day involved paying off water and electric bills, calling and canceling other accounts, arguing with lawyers, going and picking up the Uhaul and, oh yes, packing. I'd left most all of the packing to Friday and then this closing thing took over my body and soul.

Story short (because I'm about to fall asleep here at my desk) is that the last few days were some of the most stressful and laborious (box after box to the 4th floor of our new building) that I've ever experienced. And the level of tiredness I feel is like nothing else I've known (because I've never had a baby), but it is now OVER and we are settling in to our new place. Ahhhhhh.

Here's the good news. We are thrilled to be out of the house and done with the whole process. And the best part of it all is really the view from our apartment. The water is beautiful. It's so calming. We left one beautiful place for another.

Now we have half the stuff (maybe even less than half) that we used to. We don't have a mortgage hanging over our heads and we have more free time to do the things that we love and are passionate about. Life is very good.

The move is just the beginning of this journey. We are excited about what the next chapter of our lives will bring.

Reflections on an epic yard sale

The good news for us is that PEOPLE LIKE OUR STUFF. Sorry for yelling, but they liked it so much that that they bought almost all of it at our yard sale yesterday. We were selling like crazy from 8-12. It was the best yard sales EVER (yelling again) because we had tons of good items that actually worked or were purchased within the past five years. You could have set up a whole house and remodeled it too with what we were were selling. And our prices were nice and low, so everything was flying.

My favorite part? The FREE section. That's right. Give the yard sale people of the world what they really want: free stuff. The free stuff helps them to feel like they are really getting a bargain and makes them more likely to buy something. They've done studies on this. I kid. This might not be true at all. In fact, it might be that giving away free stuff makes people want the stuff that's for sale for even less money. Either way, I don't care because it is really, really fun to give away free stuff. People just can't believe that you would give something away that you could charge a whole two dollars for.

Throughout the morning, I would select priced items that just weren't moving and bring them over into the free section (understand here, my end game was to get rid of everything by the end of the day). Items priced for $1 in the for sale area weren't even getting a glance from passers by, but you put them in the free section and watch out! They were all over it.

One of the best moments was when two ladies who had already talked me down to $2 for a designer jacket (because $5 was far too much), were walking back to their cars. I yelled out, "Ladies, more free stuff!" holding up the fresh load of items in my hands. Without hesitation or any thought at all, they abruptly did an about-face then made a b-line for the free section. Nice!

One of the things I found amazing was the power of a dollar (or three, for that matter). It can make all the difference between someone wanting or not wanting to buy an item. I was reminded by my husband that it's not about the price at all, it's about the thrill of the negotiation. The conversation the jacket lady had when she got home went something like this, "Man, did I get a bargain. She had it marked at $5 and I got her down to $2!"

I really meant to put up a "No Haggle Zone" sign, but the early birds descended at 8 a.m. (start time was 9) and it threw me off entirely. My husband came up at 8 as we were getting ready to set up, and told me we had customers. I certainly wasn't pleased that people were already there. I think my reaction was fueled by the fact that I was running on a week of very little sleep. Come to find out the two ladies in the garage could hear me when I said, "I should have included a 'no early birds' line in the ad." They actually helped us set up, so it worked in my favor.

While I didn't get the sign up, I did manage to put my foot down with a few hagglers. And on other occasions, as the day went on, I gave in. I told one woman who got me to come down one dollar on a $3 item to "make sure to spend that extra dollar wisely." She promised he would.

For all my sudo-complaining, it was a super fun day. The weather was phenomenal and Ryan and I had a blast answer questions, chatting away and selling our stuff. Our background music was the rough cut of my band's upcoming CD. This resulted in adding more than a dozen new people to my email list. Nice by-product.

By 2 p.m. we only had a limited number of items left. For some reason the small kitchen appliances weren't selling. Ryan's theory was that people had their own unnecessary kitchen appliances that they never use, so why buy more. I didn't think that usually stopped yard-salers from doing their thing, but maybe he was right.

We rounded up the rejects and put them all on one table (photo). We didn't sell any of these things. I finally just gave the ice cream maker away to someone who bought our grill. Seemed like a good combo.

We ended the sale by packing up the leftover items and driving them to Good Will in Worcester. This gave us the perfect excuse to eat the Chicken Ceasar Pizza at the Corner Grille.

Our summation of the day? It was an absolute success. Besides the fact that we made $1,000 (by selling thousands of dollars worth of stuff) we got to have some excellent conversations with our patrons. Many asked why we were moving and where. We got to tell our story and, like usual, people had positive responses to what we are doing. "Good for you!" and "Good luck!" Some seemed to wish they could do they same or said that they planned to.

Ryan and I compared notes on the day as we drove home from Worcester. We agreed that it feels so good to shed so much of our stuff. We are feeling great about the choices we're making and the direction we're going. We're glad that we bought the house and are grateful for the five amazing years we had in Groton and everything we learned being homeowners. Ryan says he sees the experience as a right of passage, of sorts. He got to put all the things his dad taught him into practice and realized that he is really very handy and can do just about anything that is required to fix a house up. Lucky for me.

One thing we are learning about ourselves is that we like experiences a bunch. We love to try something, learn from it and walk away with the experience of it under our belts. With that said, I don't think this next phase of our live is just about a new experience. Part of it is--living in an urban setting--but the part about simplifying life, that's something that we want to last through a lifetime of experiences.

P.S. To see some of the stuff we sold, check out the Moving from Groton blog.

Can a simple life also be a busy one?

In my day job (and sometimes night job) I am a marketer for a software company. I’m one of three people on the marketing team and most days, my job feels anything but simple. There are so many moving pieces. So many things I’m trying to keep up with.

This sounds a bit like my life outside of work as well. Case in point: A few days ago, I was telling my VP of HR about my new blog, which included mentioning the title. I quickly moved on to tell her that I had two shows (with my band) coming up that weekend and the following week I would be in the studio two weeknights working on a CD. She knows that I’m also in the process of selling my house and moving and is very aware of the work I’m doing at the company.

She started laughing. And it only took me a few seconds to figure out why. She saw the irony: I’m writing a blog about simplifying life and yet I have so much going on (including writing my blog!). My life can sound pretty complicated when I talk about everything I’m doing.

How does all this activity fit with my goal to simplify? Good question. I’m naturally a person who can do a lot at the same time. I’ve always gotten comments from others about the amount of things I take on. And I’ve typically been able to recognize when I was doing too much. Emotional breakdowns can be very telling. That's a joke (kind of).

Here’s a thought: Maybe simplicity in life doesn’t mean doing as little as possible, but instead, making sure you are choosing to do what’s most important to you.

I don’t have children and that’s a big part of why I have the time to pursue the things I do.  But even so, I find that there is always one more thing that “has” to be done.  Last night I told my husband, “I just need to write a few emails” and promised we would watch a show together. But two hours later, I was still on the computer because I’d discovered about 10 other things that I really “had” to do. Fortunately he was fast asleep on the couch so no harm done there. Phew!

Am I trying to do too much? Probably. Maybe all those super stressful dreams I’m having should be an indicator. I suppose that just because we can handle a lot doesn’t mean it’s good for us to do so, huh? We have to be careful not to unknowingly burn ourselves out in the process.

BUT (and that’s a big but) part of sucking the marrow out of life (which I want to do) is getting involved in life. Making things happen.  It feels good to make things happen, doesn’t it?  I love all of the activities I’m currently involved in (my family, my work, my band, my blog, etc.) and am looking forward to some I recently committed to (being the co-chair of a marketing committee and  helping a friend start a book club for professional women).  Will I run myself ragged trying to do all of these great things? I certainly hope not. As I write this tonight, I’m thinking that slowing down just a little might be a good idea.

I’m putting a lot on this upcoming move (let’s hope it actually happens!). I’m counting on the simplicity that apartment living brings and the fact that I will get almost eight hours back per week (wow!) with my almost non-existent commute. It will be easy for me to use that time up with everything I listed above. My challenge is to figure out how to make sure to save a little time to do one very important thing on occasion: absolutely nothing.

A love letter to Groton, Massachuetts: Part I

Did you see the film Lost in Translation? I heard it described as Sophia Coppola's love letter to Tokyo. This blog post is the first half of my love letter to Groton, Massachusetts, the town that I've called home for the past five years. I'm getting ready to sell half my stuff and transition to urban living in a few weeks. Part of simplifying my life is saying goodbye to a place I love. I'm a little reflective these days, so bear with me. : )

If you know me, you know that I love Groton. This love affair started years ago, long before I was a resident. As a college student at Northeastern University in Boston, I would, once a year, take a pilgrimage with a number of my friends to a restaurant called Parker's Maple Barn in Mason, New Hampshire (just over the Mass border). Parker's (as we call it) is housed in a rustic barn with exposed beams and woodburning stoves. It's very cozy. You are greeted at the front door by a large wooden American Indiana holding a sign that tells you to wait to be seated. They serve up big plates of breakfast (they do dinner to, but I've only been for morning fare). Their most famous breakfast dish is the Parker's Special which consists of enough food to feed a family of eight. The next step down in the Mini Parker which could feed a family of four. A little humor here, but the portions are HUGE.

As you can imagine, this place was like a dream for young college students living in the city. The large portions were certainly a big part of the draw, but there was so much more to it. It was an escape from our crowded, action-packed urban life, a chance to get out in nature (real nature, not the Boston Common). And it was a perfect excuse for a road trip that took you through beautiful countryside scenes and quaint New England towns, the quaintest being Groton.

I remember riding through Groton thinking that it seemed so perfect. It was such a beautiful little town, and so well preserved. It was as if it were set back in time. No flashy signs (they are all wooden), no bright lights, and all the houses and buildings on Main Street are antique. I remember thinking, "Who lives in this town?" It seemed so far away from the "real" world of Boston. At that time, an hour commute into the city was impossible to fathom.

I need to put a little "aside" in here (per Shakespeare) and mention that when I was 15 my family moved to New England from Alabama. We lived in Bedford for a year and then moved to Concord. Concord was my first true love here in Massachusetts and I still love it dearly. I'm a bit Concord obsessed, but as an adult, Concord was not a town I could afford to live in. Groton, in some ways started as a replacement for Concord, but I grew to love it in a different way and saw it as a better place to live. It's more pristine, more open, less crowded and more peaceful. It's like a hidden gem. There is that small detail that it's a bit remote, but you get used to that. Back to the story!

Through the years, after college, I continued the tradition of going to Parker's. I would go with my family, with my after-college friends and also with my husband (once I had one). When we took the scenic route, which can be skipped if you are in a hurry, we would once again go through Groton. I remember one time when Ryan and I were coming back from enjoying our Mini Parker breakfasts, we decided to take Route 40 out of Groton center. The green sign promised that the road would bring us to Lowell and we were living near there at the time. We had no sense of how this road would get us to Lowell, but decided to be adventurous (daring, I know!).


View Larger Map

Route 40 is a curvy road that meanders through Groton, then Westford, then Chelmsford and finally reaches Lowell. As we drove, we didn't think we were ever going to get to Lowell, but it didn't matter. What a great ride! The piece of Route 40 that goes through Groton is beautiful. The scenery is really lovely. It was well worth what felt like a never-ending ride (30 minutes).

About a year later, Ryan and I started thinking about buying our first house. We had never talked about Groton as a place to buy, but I think it was in the back of both of our minds. I came home from work one night and Ryan was beside himself with excitement. He wanted me to look at the photos of a little house he'd found online. I did and I loved it. It was in Groton.

We jumped in the car on that early summer evening and raced against time to get to the house before the sun went down. We planned to trespass and check out this home that we were starting to envision as our own (we are very imaginative, which has its pros and cons - but mostly pros).We got there with only a few minutes of daylight left and circled the house, looking in windows and liking what we saw. In subsequent trips to Groton we grew more and more attached to the home (Bad! I know you are suppose to leave emotions out of it, but buying a house is ALL about emotions) and to the town.

Long story short, the house had a wicked mold problem in the crawlspace that money couldn't even fix to the point of confidence. Also, there was a threat of extreme flooding due to some new construction near by. It broke Ryan's heart when we received the news. I'm not kidding. In his mind, we were already living there (he's the more imaginative of the two of us). So, it was back to square one. (One little note here. A couple did buy the house and the next season the backyard completely flooded. The local newspaper ran a picture of it. We were so glad we didn't act on emotion).

We continued our search and expanded to surrounding towns, but we had a special place in our hearts for Groton. It had already done a number on us. After a few weeks, we found a house in Groton that had some potential. It was a split entry. Ewww. Not at all what we were looking for. It was seriously outdated and would require a ton of cosmetic work. But it had the most beautiful backyard. The yard itself was perfect and beyond it was a meadow. And for a split, it was actually a very nice looking house. One of the best ones I've seen.

We decided to go for it and after the usual back and forth, we purchases the house. For the first month, we didn't live in the house, but worked on it every day and every night. We ripped up floors, we got rid of four layers of wallpaper, we painted every inch of the house including all trim and cabinets, and over time, after moving in, we (meaning Ryan) laid tile, ripped down and replaced walls, and did all kinds of other things to make our house a great place to live. We were proud of ourselves and the house (and still are!).

So what does our house have to do with loving Groton? It's all tied together really. It was one big wonderful experience. We loved this town. We loved our piece of it. We wanted to make it the best it could be (on a budget). We've enjoyed every minute of our lives in this place.

As I sit at my kitchen table now, I hear the brook that runs through the backyard, the birds chirping, various insects adding their contribution and the light sound of the chimes on my back porch blowing in the gentle breeze. The sun is shinning, and out of all windows I can see green and trees. This is mostly what I love about Groton. Nature. It's all around you. It's the most calming thing I know.

I know that I'm going to miss my life here when we are gone. But we weren't ready to settle here for the rest of our lives. We have other things we want to do. Other plans in our minds' eyes. One day, I have no doubt, that we will settle in again in a beautiful place that we will connect with just as much as we do Groton.

In my next post, I will continue writing about Groton. It will be a useful post. You will actually be able to use it as a guide if you decide to come for a day trip. And make sure to visit Parker's when you are up this way.

Okay, now off to cleaning and packing! The bank is coming tomorrow to decide what our home is really worth and if they will give our buyers the money to make it their own. Fingers crossed! I always have to keep that imagination at bay (dreaming of loft living right now) because until we close on the house, there's always the chance that we might not be going anywhere.

Credit for Groton Photo: Dave Hill

Stuff is like lobster

Labor Day just passed us by. When I spoke with friends about what they did, I got a little jealous. They were at the lake or the beach, kicking back, relaxing (you get the picture). What was I doing on Labor Day? I was laboring. Ryan and I spent the day sorting through all of our stuff. Categories included: Recycle, Throw Away (stuff that can't be recycled and no one in the world would want it), Sell, Give Away and Keep. So much stuff!

One of my projects was going through boxes of photos that I've been carrying around with me for years. Thank goodness for digital cameras! I can't believe how many pictures I used to have developed in the olden days. My mission: to make choices about which photos to keep and scan and which to toss.

It went something like this:

• Pictures of friend's babies from five years ago: out.
• Christmas photos of friends and their families: out (sorry guys!).
• Any picture taken during my fat years (1999-2001): out.
• Endless photos of scenery with no people: out.
• Misc photos of friends in misc poses (all extremely tasteful, of course): out.
• The best current photos of friends and family: in.
• Older photos of friends and family: in.
• The best photos of me: in.

You really have to be ruthless. Ryan and I decided we would be with everything. We want to take as little as possible with us when we move. Even sentimental stuff is going bye-bye. I like this idea -- if you want to remember something, take a pictures (digital). Something I read once challenged the idea that memories have to be attached to things. You always have your memories with or without things (until you get dimentia, that is).

Moving beyond photos, we went through almost every closet, every draw, and the garage. In the end, we have a garage full of stuff that we are shedding. Our yard sale will be the week before the move. We are selling the items that can fetch $2 (big money at a yard sale) and up and the rest we are giving away.

I'm envisioning the sign, "Hundreds of items for free!" I'm sure this will result in tons of traffic, but will it be quality? The big question you ask when putting on a yard sale (right).The problem with the "free" strategy is that people will come with the cheapest mindset possible and will expect to get a lawn mower for $.50. Hmmm...I need to think about this one a little more.

Our yard sale will be the magnitude of a two or three family one because we are getting rid of half our stuff. Ladders, TVs, couches, tables, chairs, weights, ice cream maker, toaster, volleyball net, dress up clothes (don't ask), photo albums, snowblower, lawnmower, Ryan's "my little pony collection" (just seeing if you are still paying attention), I mean, Ryan's diver gear...the list is endless. (If you are interested in any of our stuff, just let me know. You will get the generous friends and family discount ; )

It's a very cool feeling to shed stuff. It really is similar to losing weight. Your like, "I can see my feet again!"

Some our stuff, we bought just five years ago when we moved into the house, but I'm okay with that. Sometimes you have to experience one thing to figure out that you want something different.

Bye bye, stuff! You've been great, but really you are a little like lobster, overrated. I'm just as happy with a tuna melt.